You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
