it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
