I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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