I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize