i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
