I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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