yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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