i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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