I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
