So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
