RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Shame is for Republicans.
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