Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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