I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
