Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.