I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.