What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it