Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.