I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
