hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
