weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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