Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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