I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
