This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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