i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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