chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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