Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
