Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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