when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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