Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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