Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
