Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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