Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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