If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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