I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.