I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?