How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
