dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am one with the molecules
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
