I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Everclear isn't food dammit
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize