She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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