I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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