my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
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