i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
