Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
