A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize