I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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