three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
