Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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