Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
