I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
