he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
