he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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