I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
