I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
