took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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