Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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