My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
