Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
