Sry I called you an 8
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
