Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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