Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
