it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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