Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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