Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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