Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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