When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wish you could order shots online.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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