i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
