no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
