he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
